Basic Body Enhancer
by Hyper Kid
Summary: Just another day for the homunculi. Lust's trying to kill Envy for stealing her shampoo. Pride's being obnoxious. What a happy family they are.


Basic Body Enhancer

This is a hair-care product you need to collect on an X-Men game my brother has. Worse, it's Wolverine who collects it. He doesn't need Basic Body Enhancer. Basic Body Enhancer is a product Lust uses, and Envy steals. Typical siblings.

"Hey Envy…" It was just another day for the homunculi.  
"Yeah Lust?"  
"Where's my shampoo?" Yup, just another day. And Envy had once again stolen Lust's Basic Body Enhancer. He figured she didn't need it, and he was envious of her hair. He was envious of everyone really, but he could do something about this. So he stole her shampoo. Except unfortunately she noticed. At first he had convinced her it was Pride, who wanted to have the biggest hair, but then Pride went all stark raving ballistic, yelling about how his pride would not allow him to do something as stupid as steal, and even if he did, he wouldn't get caught because he was too awesome. Which, as usual, made Envy feel like crap for getting caught. Which is why Envy hates Pride. Because he's jealous that Pride never gets caught, or blamed for anything. But anyway, Lust was beating the crap out of Envy, in true sibling fashion, for stealing her shampoo. Because Envy wasn't allowed to hit his sister (sisters, if you asked him about Pride), he turned into Lust, just to annoy her, then ran away. Of course, Lust followed him, in all her avenging glory, yelling threats about what would happen if Envy didn't get his sorry butt back there and give her back her shampoo. Of course, Envy knew she would do most of it anyway, and had no intention of going anywhere near Lust for at least a day. As he ran past his secret hiding place, in dog form, he switched back to normal so Wrath didn't get all gung-ho on him, and grabbed the shampoo, hiding it in his hair for safe keeping. Then, as they passed the room where their father sat, Lust let out a screech of anger, because Envy was probably the fastest of all the others, even if Pride would never admit it. Their father turned, and stopped the rabid chase with a word.  
"Children." Envy and Lust stopped and turned to look at him, Envy edging as far away from Lust as he could. Their father looked at them.  
"Why, exactly, are you chasing Envy through the building screaming like a banshee Lust?" Envy mentally groaned, and backed away a little more. Lust always got her say first. It wasn't fair. Lust glared at Envy, brushing her hair off her flushed and furious face.  
"Envy stole my shampoo again! He won't give it back, he always takes it!" Envy frowned, and started to shout over her accusations.  
"I did not! She always blames me, and I didn't take anything! She's just looking for an excuse to beat me up, make her stop!" Lust scowled, and began to shout over Envy.  
"Do not! I know you took it, it's always you! He's always going in my room, get him to leave my stuff alone!" Envy started shouting louder.  
"She's just trying to get me in trouble! Don't let her get away with it, she's just blaming me 'cause Pride's her favourite!" Lust blushed, then glared death at Envy.  
"Do not! I know you've got it! Make him give me back my shampoo! He's just jealous because my hair's better than his!" Envy was speechless. That was the truth, but it was still insulting. He remained speechless for a few moments, and Lust smirked triumphantly, but then he found his voice.  
"That's the stupidest thing I ever heard! How could anyone be jealous of your hair? It looks like you've been pulled through a bush backwards!" Lust, who was extremely proud of her appearance, was speechless this time, and Envy smirked. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, but before she could talk again, their father spoke.  
"Enough, children. You're acting like two year olds." Envy opened his mouth to point out that they weren't actually much older than that, but their father raised a hand. "Enough, Envy. If you have anything of Lust's, give it back." Envy folded his arms sullenly.  
"Don't have anything of hers." There was a sarcastic snort, and Pride moved out from behind their father's chair.  
"Yes you do Envy, I saw you take it. You've got it on you now, haven't you? Inept little brat." Envy glared sulkily at Pride.  
"Rat." Then he reached up and reluctantly pulled Lust's shampoo out of his hair, and thrust it at her. Lust stared incredulously at Envy's hair, then at the shampoo bottle before folding her arms.  
"Don't want it back now." Then she saw something on the bottle and squealed. "Oh, gross! Don't you ever wash your hair Envy!" Envy scowled, blushing slightly.  
"How can I? Everyone's always to busy with you guys, and then I have to go do all the bad work, and then you all ignore or insult me!" Pride snorted again, his favourite sound.  
"Whatever, you dirty child. It's still no excuse. And now you owe Lust more shampoo." Envy was, once again, speechless. Okay, it was now official; Lust and Pride had a conspiracy against him. Lust wasn't even squeamish. He turned, and stormed out of the house, to find the Elrics, and either make their lives miserable, or ask to join their side.

Wow, I didn't know writing for the homunculi was so fun! Just like any other family, they're gonna have spats, so I might get permanently interested in this! We'll see. Please review at the sound of the beep.

BEEP!


End file.
